What to Expect When You Are invited into a Russian Home

Hello again and here are some more observations on Russian customs from our side of the fence))

So you are in Russia and finally your new friends invite you to come over for dinner. That`s a major step.  So be well prepared.

Make sure to ask the hostess if you need to bring something with you (wine, chocolate, dessert, etc.) – most probably you will get an answer that nothing is needed and all is set for the dinner but this is just a polite way for a guest to ask. Anyway you still have to bring a little gift when coming to a new home for the first time – some flowers will be nice (an odd number,  flowers in even numbers are only used for funerals in Russia!), chocolates, wine or maybe something from your home country. If there are little children in the house it would be nice to bring them some souvenirs or candy as well.

Dress up nicely but don`t overdress (no evening gowns or tuxes – that`s what I mean). Going out and visiting friends is considered special occasion and your host want to see that this IS a special occasion for you))

Be prepared to have to take your shoes off!  Russia is universally known for bad climate and bad roads. You just don`t want to bring all that mud and dirt into the house. So normally we all take our street shoes of and change for some house shoes or slippers. We are not Japanese and normally do not walk barefoot in the house. Some people may offer you “guest slippers” to put on. Personally I do not like the idea of wearing someone else’s shoes so when visiting friends I either take some nice shoes with me to change into or just walk barefoot.

So – you gave the flowers to the hostess and you changed the shoes.  What`s next?  Russian apartments are normally small and we very rarely have standing receptions.  When we invite guests we put a large table (sometimes two), for really big occasions we even may borrow an extra table from the neighbors). So everyone sits at a really large table and the feast begins. There are usually three parts of it. First – the starters. Expect to see Olivier Salad (already mentioned in this blog) and some kind of beet-root salad and maybe corn and crab sticks salad. All with a lot of mayonnaise!  Yes.  Guilty as charges, We, Russian, just love mayonnaise)) Also there will be some cold cuts and maybe salted salmon or herring. You may also be served round by some baked stuffed buns or pie with meat or cabbage. Don`t be afraid to try new foods and don`t let your plate be empty – this may upset the hostess.

So after the hors d’oeuvre there will be some kind of main dish like meat and potatoes, roasted chicken or duck or my favorite julienne with mushrooms. For desert there will definitely be tea (rarely coffee) offered, and something sweet like Russia chocolate candy or a berry pie or some kind of cake.

As for drinks – there definitely will be alcohol on the table with wine and vodka. Make sure to stick to one beverage – this will save you from morning headache. For soft drinks we like to offer kvas in the summer (a non-alcoholic drink from fermented rye bread) and compote (a drink made of boiled fruits or berries like black currant or pear compote) in the winter.

Russian soups like schi and borsch are much talked about but don’t expect them to be served. Soups are considered an everyday meal and are not for special occasions.

It is customary that (at least at the beginning of the meal) several toasts are proposed. These are generally for the hosts of the party, for everyone`s health, for the children. So if your Russian is good enough you may make a toast and say something nice.

Table talk includes but is not limited to such topics as weather, culture, children, travelling. The notion that it is impolite to discuss sex, religion, or politics at a dinner party is generally considered old-fashioned these days.   Especially with the younger audience. But there are still limits about what you can and cannot discuss at a dinner party that are clear regardless nationality or country of origin.

With everyone sitting and not moving around Russian parties may look more formal and old-fashioned. But as the old Russian proverb says «No sense in standing when you can sit (в ногах правды нет)» so eventually you will get used to those long sit-down dinners and learn to enjoy them.

María Andreeva